Understanding and telling jokes is a powerful way to bond with others, but it can be challenging for children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
Keep in mind that most children, including neurotypical kids, aren’t adept at discerning sarcasm or catching a joke that is integrated into witty conversation until around the ages of eight to ten. And, of course, some children are just more serious than others. That’s totally normal.
However, a sense of humor can be cultivated, and there are things parents and caregivers can do to teach kids with autism to tell and understand jokes. Recent study reviews (Hutchins, 2022) demonstrate there is “...therapeutic potential for teaching humor comprehension to autistic persons and the benefit of broader education efforts to forge an understanding of the value of "different senses of humor.”
Here are some tips for you and your family to help your child with ASD cultivate a sense of humor and understand why people laugh when someone else jokes.
Let’s start with patience. Remember that autistic children can experience developmental delays at multiple levels. So, part of the issue can be as simple as your child needing an extra year or two of support, encouragement, and space to grow before they catch up to the sarcasm, jokes, and silliness that have their peers laughing so easily.
Also, nothing is funny when we’re in a state of stress or anxiety. When we feel anxious or afraid, the amygdala takes over, putting us in a fight-flight-freeze state. We cannot be attuned to humor or jokes (nor can we typically create them). So, emotional regulation is a foundation for developing a sense of humor. In order for things to seem funny - or for anyone to be funny - there must be a general sense of calm in the moment.
One of the reasons neurodivergent people, especially those with ASD, can seem “humorless” is that their interpretive world is typically black and white, without many shades of gray. However, most jokes and humor live in the grey area; the brain must quickly shift from the world of the “real” to a world where things have more than one meaning or feeling. Joke telling - and joke getting - requires some semblance of imagination.
Just think about one of the most common funny expressions, “That will happen when pigs fly.” Someone with a developed sense of humor understands that since pigs don’t fly, that will never happen. However, an autistic child may just think, “But pigs don’t fly…” and then be completely baffled by why anyone else is giggling or understands something they don’t.
So, developing imagination is a key element of cultivating a sense of humor in kids with autism. You can do that by:
By actively stimulating and growing their capacity for the imaginal world, the more their brains can pick up on jokes and humor that live in the grey areas.
We mentioned the expression, “when pigs fly…” It’s amazing how many things people say on a regular basis that fall into the idiom category and are all subtle expressions of humor. Keep in mind that non-native English speakers also have to learn these things because they are applying more literal language comprehension at the beginning.
Examples are:
While not all of these may seem funny, they’re all commonly used and can help stretch the way your child interprets everyday language and sayings. Again, use pictures and images to help show why these are funny or have meaning.
Some parents may have children who rarely laugh, but if your child does crack a smile, giggle, or laugh, or otherwise vocalize in happy/excited ways, pay attention.
Everyone has their own sense of what’s funny and what’s not. So, noticing what your child already finds funny becomes the perfect springboard into a more developed understanding and expression of humor.
There are many fun children’s books with jokes, riddles, and funny sayings. Check some out from your local library and start reading them together.
Good joke telling is an art, and it also means not overdoing or over-repeating things (which can become echolalia) that make people laugh. That takes the fun out of it, right? So, talking about what makes a joke funny should eventually lead to some of the rules around joke telling that can keep them from over-telling something that gets the laugh they’ve been dreaming of.
Finally, there are some general rules about humor and when it is and isn’t okay to make jokes. So, that will be a part of the journey, too.
As they get older, your child may also need to know that not all jokes are age-appropriate, so they need to take their audience into the equation.
The ABA therapists at Autism Response Team take a personalized approach to our work. We want our clients to be as successful in the classroom, on the playground, and around town as they are at home. We love helping develop our clients’ imaginations and sense of humor, and we can work with you to teach your child with ASD how to tell and understand jokes. Contact us to schedule a consultation and learn more about how we can help.
